come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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