He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
