I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
