the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
