pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
