Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
PANTIES FOUND
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