That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
