She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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