The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
