we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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