just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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