This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
