You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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