I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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