i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
