i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
