Just fell off a train. Bad.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
