So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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