We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
