Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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