Ambien. No doubt about it.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
