real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
