my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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