guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
So much Jack, so little girl.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
