You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
