i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
