I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
