Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
