Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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