i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
