So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
