ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
