Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
