none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
