i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
