It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
