I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I would ride that face into the sunset
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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