I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
