Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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