I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
