Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
