She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You peed on a flamingo?!?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
