he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
