Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
