spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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