She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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