Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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