if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
