he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
