this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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