Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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