69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
