first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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